im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
