Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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