so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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