Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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