I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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