guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
