Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
