I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
