last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
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