Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
