Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Randomize
