so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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