I can text with my tongue
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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