Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
