bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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