Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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