Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
