I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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