Is it normal to miss your booty call?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
