i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
