Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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