Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
