Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
