you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
