on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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