i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
