I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
