ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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