never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
