stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize