Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
