i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
