He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
