New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
