thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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