probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
