if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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