I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
