please come you make the beer taste better
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize