if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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