So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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