Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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