she woke up with a sticky ear
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
