I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
