why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize