It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
