drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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