I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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