Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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