Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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