I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
zippers are such a cool invention
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
