Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
