hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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