Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
