As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
