I'm gonna have a badass scar
I bet he comes in French.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
