nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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