Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
where are you?
Hypothermia
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
