if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
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