And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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