You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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