i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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