Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
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