My friends, they love my intelligence
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
birth control should be required to get into college
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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