Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My feet surprised me
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