My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
