Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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