Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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