So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
